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Prenuptial agreements are potentially one of the most divisive of all legal documents that an attorney can draft.  Unfortunately, this is often due to pre-established opinions of fairness and equality.  Now, it is true that prenupts are often used when you have one partner who has more wealth and/or income than the other party and they want to protect such wealth in the event of divorce or death.  This is the root of the feelings that the stronger partner is exercising leverage over the weaker party through the purse strings.  The take or leave it view of prenupts is often not accurate, at least not for the ones that I prepare.

I am writing this post about thirty minutes out from a client meeting in which I represent the “weaker” party in a prenuptial negotiation.  We received the draft prenupt from the opposing side and we are formulating our response.  What’s our goal?  Fairness to all involved.  My client recognizes that the individual effort of her boyfriend has generated significant individual wealth in his name solely.  She doesn’t believe that she is entitled to that money now or ever.  However, what she does believe is that she is entitled to whatever they may earn during the course of the marriage.  Further, she believes that she is entitled to an interest in his estate if he passes away during the course of the marriage.  And so on.


This article is not intended to educate you on the ways to negotiate for the “weaker” spouse in a prenuptial situation, but rather to show you that in the modern world we live in it is often not a take it or leave it scenario.  Life is far more complicated than that and as such prenuptial agreements tend to be very custom to each client and each situation.  They are being crafted in such a way to protect the concerns of the stronger spouse while still ensuring that protection is provided to the weaker spouse.  This balance is very different for each client and each scenario. 

So, before you say that you would never sign a prenuptial agreement or that you would never marry someone who wouldn’t sign a prenuptial agreement, try to figure out if a middle point exists where the competing interests meet in harmony.  After all, that is what marriage is about anyway – right, the merging of two into one.